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  • Launching TwinCop: 7 Days Of An Indie Dev's Journal

    - Kartik Kini
  • Note: This is a compilation of excerpts from my personal journal of the days leading up to launching the first major game release for my indie game studio. Some of it has been edited for privacy sake, and some has been edited for grammar and readability. Otherwise, this is a fairly unaltered glimpse into the mental state of an indiedev leading up to the launch of their game.

    May 3rd... 7 Days
    I'm anxious. I feel like I have a 100 "what ifs" going through my head right now. I posted on twitter about how scared I am to release this game, which was a little scary in itself. I'm trying to be as transparent as possible with my experience of being a game developer, because I know how much it's helped me seeing other developers do this as well.

    So, why am I so anxious? I guess I want my work on TwinCop to be validated. I just want people to notice how much energy and commitment I put into this game, and I want people to play and enjoy the game. I am very proud of myself for working on the same project for 2.5 years and not giving up on it (against MANY odds). But I still feel like I need this external validation.

    I think the other major contributor to my anxiety is the success (or lack thereof) of some other indies. Every now and then I'll check how other games of similar quality/genre/style are doing and see games with 0-10 reviews (which isn't the only metric for success, but still a concerning low number). I think I can handle negativity if players don't like the game for a good reason, but I don't know if I can handle being ignored.

    I am looking forward to reading this after we launch, and seeing how I feel then. Hello, future me. I hope you feel better than you did when writing this.

    May 4th... 6 days
    Today has been a bit up and down- I started out pretty stressed because I urgently needed to do some cleaning in the house and some chores I'd been neglecting during the past week, but we also needed to send the finished build to reviewers. Finding that balance between day job, indiedev, and general adult responsibilities is challenging. It is especially frustrating when it perpetually feels like you don't have enough time in the day to do everything as well as you want to. That being said, it felt better once the house was clean; there was one less visual reminder of work you haven't done.

    The other aspect that was stressful was that I had stayed up late last night trying to fix a strange bug that had popped up. I managed to find and resolve it after I finished cleaning the house but it was amplifying my anxiety significantly.

    I spent some time at a friends place in the evening, celebrating a birthday. It was a nice break from sitting and staring at the remaining polish and bug tickets I want to fix, and a much needed social fix. As an introvert, it's difficult for me to know when I need a social fix or when I need some alone time. Today, I definitely needed some socializing completely unrelated to TwinCop.

    May 5th... 5 days
    Spent all morning doing chores outside of the house. Bought some nice shirts while I was out- (they're really fun floral shirts). When I came back, I got to work on some polish.

    After finishing some work I had dinner, played some Apex, and then finished one last polish note, and went to bed.

    Thus begins launch week. I'm almost there.


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